True Independence Is Never Reached

This week in class, one topic we discussed was Independence, meaning, when do we truly become adults? Today, my sister and I walked into our painting class, only to realize that there was a substitute. She was an older woman, but I recognized her from previous classes. She started the video we were going to watch and I'm not sure why, but she came over to Sarah and I and started asking us about our college plans and just small talk. Then she went to her desk and grabbed a ziploc bag out of her purse and came back. She started telling us about her children and grandchildren and pulled out pictures from the ziploc bag. She gave us advice on college. saying that when we get to our school, it will be the first time we will experience independence and there is a greater importance in making the right decisions. She even gave us advice on marriage saying that it is okay to get married in your late thirties (that is what her daughter did) and just don't meet a boy the first week of school and lock in on him, not opening up to meeting any one else. She eventually went into telling us that her husband passed away in November and her eyes started to tear as she explained how her home is quiet and it has been difficult. She also told us about a conversation she had over the phone with her granddaughter as well. And how she really misses all of her kids since they live out west. Reflecting on all she said, I really started to think about what it means to be an adult. As seniors, we're all looking forward to going to college and gain independence, but we truly won't be on our own. We still will depend on our parents to pay our tuition and our friends for companionship and support. After college we will get married and that seems like a big step into independence, but we will still all be dependent on our spouse for some things. I saw this in my substitute, she has lived a fulfilling life and has been an adult for a long time, but since her husband passed away, there is a void because, a marriage is not an individual thing, it is a partnership. Since her husband passed, she has gained a greater dependence for her children, she longs for their companionship. She continually mentioned how much she loved them and how proud she was. They give her happiness. No matter how old we are or how far into adulthood we reach, true independence in never reached, but it is also never necessary. It was such a blessing to meet this women today!

We started this week by talking about Masculinity, then transitioned into Femininity, interestingly enough, in my English class, we started reading Doll House and to begin,  we made a list of characteristics of males and females. Much of what we talked about was a direct parallel to what we discussed in sociology. We read an article, "Girls will be boys, but boys can't be girls." It discussed how women are encouraged to be liberated, to be strong,  and are now allowed to take on characteristics that in the past have, by society, have only belonged to males. But men are still harassed for having any "Feminine" qualities. My English teacher shared that although he is educated on this issue, he has still caught his thoughts falling into this stereotype. For her birthday party his young niece wanted to have a Bob the Builder theme, and he really didn't think there was anything strange about that, but when at a different time, his nephew wanted to dress up like The Little Mermaid, he though "Wow, that's weird." It think the argument this article described is a very important one to be aware of.  In a country where only a couple decades ago it was taboo for a girl to wear pants, I think that it is interesting that is now completely normal for a girl to wear a t-shirt,  jeans, and sneakers, but if a boy wants to wear a skirt or clothes that are considered "feminine," suddenly that is a huge ordeal.

Celebration of Hope

Last Saturday I did my second service experience. There is a Compassion and Justice ministry at my church and every year they lead an event call Celebration of Hope. In mid spring the entire church participated in this celebration by supporting women in third world countries through the fair trade shop that is set up in the main lobby, participating in the "Five Day Challenge," and packing food and seeds with Feed My Starving Children. The "Five Day Challenge" is where the church is challenged to eat like some one in a third world country would. This includes one cup of oatmeal and one cup beans and rice a day and only drinking coffee and water. In preparation for the challenge, the Compassion and Justice ministry is giving away samples of the amount of food to eat to every family and they had 24,000 packages of food to pack. They really needed help finishing, so a group of students from the high school ministry worked from 9:00am to 3:00pm to put a can of kidney beans, two small bags of rice, and a package of oatmeal in canvas bags. Twenty bags were put into each box and 60 boxes were put onto a pallet. We stood in an assembly line at a table and rotated positions every once in a while. Some times we had to move pallets of the supplies when we ran out, break boxes, and make new boxes. It seems kind of silly, but everyone started bleeding at one point, sometimes from breaking a box, or opening a case of beans with scissors. But the killer was the oatmeal packets, they were sharp and kept giving us paper cuts as we tried to slide them into the bags. Despite the blood, it was a very worthwhile experience. It was interesting to get an understanding for all of the work that actually goes on behind the scenes to make some of these events at my church run. In addition, one of the leaders of the ministry gave all of the students a fair trade bracelet. She told us that they will be given away to all the church goers during Celebration of Hope. She said that it was such a self-esteem boost to these women that some one wanted such a big order of something they had made.

This is a link to the Celebration of Hope website!